I've been craving watching the movie, "Something's Gotta Give". If you haven't seen it, watch it.
I keep going to the scene where Erica Berry(Diane Keaton) tells Harry Sanborn(Jack Nickolson, "Can you feel this? Can you feel this? This is what a heartbreak feels like."
This scene just keeps replaying in my head over and over and over agin.
My time in Kabul is almost up.
And this is what a heartache feels like.
This is what real ache of the heart feels like.
And I have never felt this way.
Leaving Vietnam I knew I would go back. I knew it was my home and that it would always have open doors to me. It did not feel like closure and I left at a good time.
Kabul doesn't feel the same.
I fear for Afghanistan.
There are no promises, no assurances, everything is uncertain.
And me coming me back, it all feels very distant.
Can you feel me? This is what a heartbreak feels like.
I am living it.
We are a week away from telling the local staff they have two week's notice. And I leave in ten days.
And the people I love, I don't know how I will tell them I am not coming back.
And me, my heart, I don't know how to tell it it is not coming back, it is not going to beat physically next to the hearts of the people I love so much in this place...
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3 comments:
cristina, i overheard that ur coming back to vietnam. although i'd want that very much, i also know the 'pain' of leaving kabul would be too much for u at this time and so i am hoping with you. stay there as long as our big Dad wants u there :) we'll always wait for your longer visit but for now i'd be content to wait for the women's retreat.
Hey Cristy, We all love you more then any one can feel and have love for you, and when i read this i just cried and all my tears drop down, Thanks alot for you feeling toward our contury and us. For all of us it is very bad and hurting moments when we got the DC is closed. For me it was same like my home and my own family who lived together from years years. but u know it was 1st time in whole life that i cried about a project. but you know we i mean Afghan people faces these things in each step of our life. even no hope that when they go out of home they may come back to see thier family. But you are in our heart and no one will forget your love and your support in here. we are here for you any time. I wish once you will be able to come and make a same DC by your own, we all will be with u.
dont be hopless, lets hope for future may be some thing will happen which we never amgine that.
May be it was all what Allaha ( GOD) wanted.
and never be upsad coz it will hurt u as much as u think, only hope and think that once u will be in kabul and you will help this groups again on that time u will support them with more new things you will have during the time you will work in Bolivia.
Palwasha
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